Something to think about before you decide to marry someone

No. 1
You pick the wrong person because you expect her/him to change after you are married.

The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The Golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "you actually can expect people to change after their marriage....for the worst!!!!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal, hygiene, communication skills and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.

My opinion : simple thing can be big thing in marriage life. careful...

No. 2
You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than character.


Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" syndrome often means "I'm in lust" Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person characters?

Here are 4 characters traits to definitely check for :

Humility : Does this person believe that "doing the right this" is more important than personal comfort?
Do i want to be more like this person? Would i like my child to turn out like him or her?

Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people?
How does she or he treat people he or she doesn't have to be nice to?
Does he or she volunteer work? give charity?

Responsibility : Can I depend on this person to do what he or she says he or she going to do?

Happiness : Does this person like himself? Does he or she enjoy life? is he or she emotionally stable?

Ask your self : Do i want to be more like this person? Do i want to have a child with this person?
Would i like my child to turn out like him or her?

No: 3.
You pick the wrong person because the man doesn’t understand what a woman needs most.

Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often that not, it is the man who just doesn’t “get it”. The unique need of a woman is to be loved – to feel that she is the most important person in her husband’s life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention.

Sexual intimacy is always on the woman’s terms. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it come this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, “men have two speeds: on and off.”Women are experience-oriented.

When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen.

My opinion : women need to be loved, men need to be understanding… and a bit of loved too…
i meant, woman need 'hugs' more more than guy, or kisses... etc.

No: 4.
You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goals and priorities.

There are three basic ways we connect with another person:
Chemistry and compatibility
Share common interests
Share common life goal

Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart.

To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you’re “living for,” while you’re single—and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you.

This is the true definition or a “soul mate.” A soul mate is a goal mate—two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life’s purpose and therefore share priorities, values and goals.

No: 5.
You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly.

Sexual involvement before the commitment of marriage can be problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Sexual involvement tends to cloud onus’s mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decision.
Of all the studies done on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited as a main factor. It is not necessary to take a “test drive” in order to find out if a couple is sexually compatible, you don’t have to worry about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies done on divorce, sexual incompatibility in never cited as a main reason why people divorce.

My opinion : True, mostly happen but hard to do.


No: 6.
You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person.

To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not ask: “do I respect and admire this person?” this does not mean, “am I impressed by this person?” we are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc.

Also ask: “do I trust this person?” this also means, “is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?

No: 7.
You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don’t feel emotionally safe.

Ask yourself the following questions: do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself! With this person?

Dose this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way!

Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you’re afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there’s a problem with the relationship. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don’t feel the other person is trying to control you.

Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There’s big difference between “controlling” and “making suggestion”. A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.

My opinion : dangerous... really.

No 8:
You pick the wrong person because you don’t have put everyting on the table.

Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise.

You need to know now, before making a commitment: can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can’t be vulnerable, then you can’t be intimate. The two go hand in hand.

My opinion : hmm... better open minded...

No: 9.
You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to ascape from personal problems and unhappiness.

If you are unhappy and single, you’ll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You’ll feel better, and your future spouse will thank you.

No: 10.
You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle.

To be “triangulated” means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn’t separated from his or her parents is the classic example of triangulation.

People can also be triangulate with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and! Your partner is free of triangles. The person caught in the triangle cannot be fully emotionality available to you. You will not be their number one priority. And that’s no basis for a marriage.

My opinion : to indonesian guy....^^ pls noticed...

Homemade Chocolate

Chocolate Candy

* 3 cups sugar
* 3 cups milk
* 5 tablespoons cocoa
* 1 tablespoon butter
* 1 teaspoon vanilla

1. Combine the sugar, milk, and cocoa in a saucepan and bring it to the boil while stirring. Boil until the mixture reaches the soft ball stage at 234-240 degrees F.

2. Remove from heat and stir in the butter and vanilla until mixture is creamy. Pour onto a buttered tray and allow to cool. Cut into squares and store in an airtight container.

The Indigo Children

What is an Indigo Child? and why do we call them Indigo?
First, the definition: an indigo child is one who displays a new and unusual set of psychological attributes and shows a pattern of behavior generally undocumented before. This pattern has common unique factors that suggest that those who interact with them ( parents, in particular ) change their treatment and upbringing of them in order to achieve balance. To ignore these new pattern is to potentially create imbalance and frustration in the mind of this precious new life. The subject of this chapter is to identify, qualify and validate the attributes of an Indigo child.
Here are ten of the most common traits of Indigo Children :
1. They come into the world with a feeling of Royalty ( and often act like it )
2. They have a feeling of 'deserving to be here' and are surprised when others dont share that.
3. Self-worth is not a big issue. They often tell the parents 'who they are'
4. They have difficulty with absolute authority ( authority without explanation or choice )
5. They simply will not do certain things; for example, waiting in line is difficult for them.
6. They get frustrated with systems that are ritual-oriented and dont require creative thought.
7. They often see better ways of doing things, both at home and in school, which makes them seem like 'system buster' ( nonconforming to any system)
8. They seem antisocial unless they are with their own kind. if there are no others of like consciousness around them, they ofern turn inward, feeling like no other human understands them. School is often extremely difficult for them socially.
9. They will not respond to guilt discipline.
10. They are not shy in letting you know what they need.

Lee Carroll & Jan Tober

Pulau Menjangan - Wall Dive

Kami menginap di Lovina, sebelah utara pulau bali yang terkenal dengan pantai lumba-lumbanya. Dari situ kami masih harus melanjutkan perjalanan ke arah barat. akhirnya sampailah kami di sebuah dermaga kecil dan beberapa kapal nelayan sudah menunggu pada diver. Kurang lebih 45 menit perjalanan kapal, kami menikmati pemandangan yang begitu indah dan pantai yang bersih. Luar biasa... seperti private beach. ^^
setelah semuanya siap, kali ini aku melakukan rol dari kapal dan masuk ke air. dan segera kami turun. Setelah menyelam beberapa saat, terjadi sedikit masalah, fin sebelah kanan saya lepas. wah, sempat panik... karena kami sudah menyelam cukup dalam dan tidak boleh langsung naik. selain berbahaya karena tekanan air, aku juga bisa celaka kalau sampai ada kapal yang lewat. Akhirnya temen dive ku yang sudah expert naik ke atas untuk mengambil.
Dan kami bisa melanjutkan menyelam. kami menyelam di patahan dinding laut. seperti jurang di dalam laut. Dinding jurang tersebut penuh karang yang beraneka bentuk dan warna. kami ini aku harus rajin-rajin melihat petunjuk tekanan dan udara.
Gak berasa aku menyelam di kedalaman 18-20m. arusnya-pun agak deras, berkali-kali aku terseret arus dan berenang tapi gak maju. aku dikawal ketat temanku dan berkali-kali menerima peringatan untuk tidak berenang turun.
pada saat sedang asik melihat-lihat karang, tak sadar di depanku muncul belut hitam besar yang muncul dari dalam gua kecil. Sempat menelan air dan panik :( tapi aku bisa relax lagi. dan sudah waktunya kami naik ke kapal untuk beristirahat.

Kapal kami merapat dengan 3 kapal nelayan lainnya. Para diver dari berbagai negara berkumpul. Kebanyakan dari german, mereka juga masih di level 'Open water'. Setelah selesai makan siang di kapal, saya dan teman dive saya, loncat dari kapal untuk berenang berkeliling karena airnya bersih, bening, dasar laut-pun terlihat. Kira-kira 15 menit berenang, instruktur kamipun memanggil, dia menurunkan peralatan dive kami dan kami siap untuk sesi dive berikutnya. kami menyelam di sisi lain dari P menjangan. Masih sama pemandanganan lautnya. lebih relax... kamipun tak sengaja melihat penyu berenang.
hanya 20 menit menyelam, kami-pun mengakhiri. naik ke kapal dan kembali ke P bali.
Setelah selesai mandi, kami memesan beberapa macam makanan, lapar sekali.... sembari makan kami mengisi log book.
log book merupakan buku yang menyimpan data penyelaman kami. seperti kedalaman, waktu penyelaman, tempat, dll.

Padang Bay, Bali - Coral Dive

Padang Bay tempat dive yang terkenal dengan keindahan coral dan ikan Hiu-nya. OK sekali seumur hidup, cukup. haha... takut juga tapi aku paksakan diriku karena untuk hal ini sepertinya gak ada kesempatan kedua. Pagi itu jam 9 aku sudah berada diatas kapal memasang peralatan dive. Segera kami satu persatu turun ke air. Mulai turun di kedalaman 4M. Setelah kami semua memberi kode OK, kami mulai berenang maju dan lebih dalam.
Coral dimana-mana. berwarna warni, bentuknya indah dan banyak ikan. Aku berasa seperti berada didalam Aquarium yang sangat indah. terdapat berbagai macam tipe bintang laut, kerang-kerang, ikan nemo ( clown fish ), lion fish dan ikan-ikan lain yang aku tidak tau namanya. Dive kl ini benar-benar relax. Tidak ada hal yang menegangkan. 40 menit di dalam air, sudah waktunya kami naik untuk beristirahat.
20 menit kami beristirahat di kapal sambil menikmati pemandangan laut, memberi makan ikan dengan rempah roti sambil ngobrol dengan nelayan pemilik kapal. Kembali kami berada di air dan memasang peralatan selam kami dengan cepat. lalu turun kebawah lurus sampai kedalaman 4m. setelah semua OK, kami lanjut berenang ke lokasi coral yang lebih indah.
Masih di lokasi yang berdekatan, aku mendapati terdapat beberapa perbedaan coral. Ketika sedang asik berenang tiba-tiba teman dive-ku memegang tanganku menggandengku untuk berenang bersama. Ternyata, dia melihat ada ikan hiu. dia mangajakku berenang menjauh dan agak naik. Perasaanku tidak tenang dan aku menghabiskan banyak udara. hanya 30 menit di dasar laut, kami segera naik.
Hari berikutnya kami melakukan penyelaman di Pulau Menjangan.

Tulamben, Bali - Wreck Dive

Aku mengambil paket dive dengan tujuan 3 tempat yang berbeda, yaitu Tulamben, Padang Bay dan Pulau Menjangan.
Paketnya terbilang cukup murah sekitar 2,5jt sudah termasuk transport, hotel, makan siang dan sewa peralatan dive berikut instrukturnya. Perjalanan pertama menuju Tulamben, tempat dive yang sudah terkenal dengan "Wreck dive". Kapal cargo USS Liberty yang sengaja di tenggelamkan pada tahun 1963. Dive di mulai dari pantai/shore, berjalan dan mulai berenang ke arah bangkai kapal 30 derajat menurut kompas yang saya pakai. Berenang miring melawan ombak, terus turun dan turun perlahan-lahan. tidak lupa membuang udara dari telinga. Bersama kami banyak juga diver-diver lain. Sampai akhirnya mulai terlihat benda hitam besar dikejauhan dan WOW besar sekali kapalnya. Seperti di film-film mencari harta karun dan bertemu mayat, haha... :p
deg-deg an abis, senang bercampur gugup. terus berenang mengelilingi bangkai kapal. berlatih mengatur irama berenang, cara berhenti dan cara berenang belok. Beberapa kali aku masih sering berenang terlalu rendah sehingga fin-ku mengenai karang. Karena begitu kita diam berhenti bergerak, badan kita akan semakin turun ke dasar laut. Sedangkan aku terlalu asik mengamati coral, ikan dan beberapa 'keajaiban' laut. Tiba-tiba aku merasa sangat beruntung bisa menikmati semua keindahan ini.
Jika Anda pernah menonton film AVATAR 3D, keindahan tanaman yang ada di film itu sama seperti keindahan coral dibawah laut. Sangat indah... Sangat memukau...
Setelah 40 menit di dalam laut, akhirnya instruktur kami memberi kode untuk mengakhiri penyelaman. Kami berenang kembali ke pantai. Begitu sampai di pantai, aku gak kuat lagi berdiri, ditambah lagi hantaman ombak dan beratnya tabung. Capek sekali, lapar... 5 menit menunggu, Nasi goreng kami matang : )

30 menit kami beristirahat sudah cukup rasanya dan siap untuk penyelaman berikutnya, masih ditempat yang sama. Ternyata tenaga-ku menipis. Berasa sekali kaki dan pinggang ku pegal. berat sekali rasanya berenang tapi pemandangan indah menunggu. Pelan-pelan tapi pasti akhirnya terlihat juga. Kali ini kami berenang berlawanan arah dengan penyelaman kami yang pertama. Kami menyelam masuk ke dalam kapal. sangat menegangkan karena gelap. tak lupa kami sibuk foto-foto. Setelah 25 menit berkeliling, instruktur mengajak kami untuk mengakhiri penyelaman. Penyelaman kedua lebih singkat karena dalam darah kami sudah mulai menumpuk nitrogen dari sejak penyelaman pertama.
benar-benar lelah, segera aku mandi, minum teh manis hangat, meminum tolak angin dan makan beberapa biskuit lemon. Segera kami naik mobil melanjutkan perjalanan ke Padang Bay dan menginap disana. Aku tidur di sepanjang jalan : )

Tujuan kami berikutnya, Padang Bay tempat dive yang terkenal dengan keindahan coralnya dan ikan Hiu-nya ^^

my DIVE

Excited ! ini petualangan yang sebenarnya. ^^
Gak tau kenapa aku selalu tertarik dengan kegiatan yang menurut orang lain berbahaya. temen-temenku bilang gini : "udah deh loe jangan aneh-aneh ! " ( aku mendengarnya seperti suatu dukungan, haha... )
kegiatan yang memacu adrenalin hanya untuk sekedar mengukur kemampuan dan keberanian.

SCUBA is an acronym which stands for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Aparatus. ( gak penting deh.. : ) Aku pikir belajarnya memakan waktu lama, bosenin, susah, kemungkinan gagal besar ( krn aku ada asma, tp sejak sering berenang n diving asma-nya hilang ).
ternyata... kursusnya cuman 3 hari. mulai dari jam 8 pagi sampai jam 6 sore. Termasuk teori dan praktek.
Aku ambil license PADI ( Professional Association of Diving Instructors ). ada beberapa license seh, cuman ini yang paling terkenal dan banyak diterima. Ujian teorinya-pun boleh nyontek. tapi tetep aja dari 100 soal salah 9, haha.... gara-gara ngantuk berat. Yang anehnya lagi bule ce yang duduk disebelah gw malah nyontek gw padahal buku panduannya dalam bahasa inggris.

Hari pertama jam 8 pagi, dikasih buku panduan dari instruktur ( PADI ) setebal 3cm, juga video panduan. Mulai lembar demi lembar dilahap. Mulai dari duduk tegak sampai turun... turun... dan posisi kepala di meja ( baca ketiduran ) haha... akhirnya makan siang, Nasi goreng dan teh manis hangat... mantab.
setelah makan siang, lanjut lagi teorinya. T.T .Teorinya seh seputar teori fisika, gak sulit seperti pelajaran SMP seperti anomali air... akhirnya jam 5an selesai.

Hari kedua, jam 8 pagi : ) dimulai dengan teori lagi tapi kali ini tak merasa jenuh karena setelah makan siang langsung praktek di kolam renang. dan benar saja, waktu berjalan cepat dan kita sudah berada di pinggir kolam renang mendengarkan instruktur menerangkan tentang macam-macam peralatan dive, cara pemasangan, cara penggunaan dan perawatan.
Tabung udara yang berat itu sudah terpasang dipunggung, beratnya ampun, 13kg ! langsung saja masuk ke kolam untuk mengurangi beban beratnya. Ternyata yang tersulit adalah bernafas dengan mulut dalam waktu lama. setelah 1 jam berlatih, akhirnya hidungku berdarah juga. Sempat panik, bukan panik karena hidung berdarah tapi panik takut gak lulus. hehe...

Hari ketiga, jam 8 pagi persiapan di pantai segera setelah selesai kami naik ke kapal nelayan menuju tengah laut. Mencapai lokasi yang ditentukan kami segera turun ke laut, lalu memasang peralatan selam di dalam air. Kita dilatih untuk cepat dan sigap memasang peralatan di dalam air. Karena aku terlalu kecil dan kurus, aku harus memakai pemberat sebesar 6kg. Deg-deg an abis, penasaran dan sedikit takut. akhirnya mulailah turun pelan-pelan mengikuti instruksi. telinga mulai terasa sakit pada kedalaman 3m, segera meniup udara dikeluarkan lewat telinga, berkali-kali dan jangan turun lebih dalam. Setelah beberapa saat akhirnya hilang juga sakitnya. Relax berlutut di pasir, di dasar laut dan mulai bisa menikmati pemandangan bawah laut. Ternyata di dalam banyak sekali para calon diver. senangnya... akhirnya bisa lebih relax. Sempat terhenti lagi sebentar karena telingaku sakit sekali. Kami juga diajari prosedur keselamatan dan cara menyelamatkan diver lain.
Sekitar jam 4, semuanya selesai dan kami diminta untuk mengisi data diri juga menyerahkan foto. Kami semua lulus : )

Tanpa pikir panjang, aku langsung mengambil paket dive bersama seorang teman yang sudah expert.
Baca postingan di blog ini berikutnya : )